welcoming or not?

So I was thinking about what I learned this past week and the subject of Family Mapping really stood out to me. There were three general boundaries we discussed. These three boundaries consisted of closed off, over inviting, and welcoming. As we went into detail I noticed some similarities that we described about each of these to people in my life. The first one is closed off. The image that we discussed of this is comparing it to a house with a tall, thick, brick wall around a house. These kind of families are very unapproachable and the atmosphere around them is just uninviting. Then there is the over inviting kind of family. We compared this to more of a house with a open yard and no real fence. Kinda like a house you could just walk into without knocking. These kind of families are very friendly but can be a bit over the top. The last one is welcoming. The image we put with this is a house with a small, white, picket fence around it. This kind of family is the kind that when you talk to them, you just feel happy. They seem very put together and down to earth. Like I said earlier, I've seen these three kinds of boundaries in families I know or have grown up with. Its interesting though that though a family may seem one way, as a teen, I see how their kids act; which is sometimes completely different then what their parents portray. So now how do we really determine what boundaries our family or any other family belongs in. I mean when you first look at people you could think one thing but the minute you start talking to them that view could completely change. Plus there's also the fact that we don't all treat everyone the same so to one person we could seemed closed off but to another we could seem welcome. I guess it all depends on where we want to put ourselves or if we really care what people think.